Hazards of Being a Man by Jeffrey E. Miller

Author:Jeffrey E. Miller
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2007-04-01T00:00:00+00:00

7

The Hazard of

ABSENCE

Days of absence, sad and dreary,

Clothed in sorrow’s dark array,

Days of absence, I am weary;

She I love is far away.

William Shakespeare

The shopping mall near our house contains many exciting features—clothing stores, sporting goods, electronics stores, bookstores, and a large courtyard with lots of toys for kids to climb on. During the hot Texas summers, parents flock to this indoor oasis that allows their children an energy outlet in the comfort of air conditioning. They perch on benches encircling the sublevel playground, watching their munchkins frolic around on the cushioned floor. It reminds me of a zoo.

Recently I took my two girls to join the other animals there while their mother shopped for clothes. I was entertained by a little shaver just learning to walk—awkwardly. I was curious about the girls who were afraid to get too close to any boys—except for this youngster. But mostly I was struck by this little boy, who kept stopping in front of me to stare me down. There’s nothing like locking eyes with a preliterate child and getting lost. After sizing me up, he felt comfortable enough to come forward and place his hand on my knee. He then began to babble to me, mostly in a language that was too sophisticated for me to understand. I noticed his mother watching us from across the playground with a mixture of caution and happiness in her eyes. Finally, he climbed into my lap and began to hug me.

I know a lot of children. It doesn’t take a pastor long to learn that knowing the names of the children in your congregation is more important to the parents than knowing their own names. But Patrick—the name of the playground boy—was different. By the time he reached my lap, his mother had reached the seat next to me, and we began to talk. I learned that Patrick’s parents were divorced. His father worked and lived five states away. We were witness to Patrick’s pure and simple craving for male interaction; he missed his father. I don’t know if I resembled his father physically, or if I just happened to be the only man sitting there at the playground that Tuesday, but on that blistering hot Texas afternoon, Patrick used me as his father.

TIME— A PERISHABLE COMMODITY

Patrick’s story is far too common. So many little boys and girls grow up without their father present. Sometimes the parents are separated or divorced or never married in the first place, and Mom maintains custody of the children to raise them alone. Sometimes the marriage is intact but the father is on the job more than at home—whether traveling or just working overtime. And sometimes the father is physically present but emotionally absent. He escapes from his wife and children, who may be just one room away, either working on the computer or watching TV. None of these scenarios is acceptable. The long-term consequences of an absent father on a family can be serious.

Time, like money, is a gift to invest, and there are endless opportunities for us to spend it.

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